Tomorrow at exactly 5:27 am will be the 1,835th day since papa breathe his last..
1,835 days or 5 years..grabe..Congratulations to my self I survived 5 years without papa ..
the weird thing about it ,is that it WAS also a tuesday that he died. I can still vividly like it was yesterday what happened in that certain room at the 2nd floor of cebu doctor's hospital.
Eventhough time flies so fast, there will always be moments that i cry because i miss papa or i remember happy memories of papa.
Sometimes me and ate woud always ask ourselves if what life would have been like if papa had not died at all or if he was obedient enough to undergo operation to remove the tumor..Life would have been different..
He could have been my 18th rose during my debut,
He could have been there during my capping ceremony
He could still have wake me early mornings during my birthdays singing a birthday song to me with voice comparbale to matt monroe and would have hugged me sooo tight and kiss me on the forehead and would tell me that his"baby is now a lady"
He could still have cheered me on my swimming competiitions
He could still have witnessed my pain and suffering going through nursing school
He could still have seen me march on the stage receivinng my diploma during my college graduation day
He could have been there when i learned that i pass the board exams and sympathize with me during the lowest moments when there was the leakage scandal , and he could have still gave his words of wisdom, enough for me regaing my strength to pass the road of uncertainties on what the June 2006 controversy will bring to me
He could have been there when i learned i pass the CGFNS exam
He could have enjoyed seeing me in my uniform to work and celebrated with me as i reveived my first paycheck
He could have experienced what its like to have a grandchild
and He could have been here alive and kicking today, hearing me out on my frustrations or when i just have a bad day at work..
But he is not anymore. That's the sad, bitter truth, I have to accept.
Everyday is a new day. Everyday is a challenge.
During the burial of papa, Everybody was so worried of me that I will faint from crying because they prepared alot of whiteflower and spirit of ammonia and etc, but i proved them wrong because i didnt faint because i promised papa that i will be strong and he shouldnt be worried about me because i am going to be okay .
Yes there will be going to pains and suffering that i will have to experience as i go on with life but losing papa, was definitely THE MOST PAINFUL ever. When i lost him , it was like losing a hero , mentor and bestfriend . I think I lost my creativity when i lost him.
Papa will always remain, and i repeat always be my hero and my first love.
I MISS YOU PAPA =(
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